Live my life♥

so much is suppressed inside

Sometimes out of nowhere I miss V, When I watch a drama, a place where we have been, some incidence it triggers me and i feel so sad, depressed and anxiety at a same time. There is so much suppressed within me still... it hasn't become an old thing to me its still fresh. That day at night I cried so much out of no where I missed him and his presence, his presence in my life is still missed. I happened to see his whatsapp at 12am and he was online He would never talk to me so late whom was he talking to? everyday he is online at night. He also disabled his truecaller tracking he came to know that I check him. Am sure he has someone in his life. Why?? am I still bothered? why it still bothers me? I dint do anything wrong. I want to be at peace. How does he sleep at peace? His last conversation rings in my head when he said me to get lost because his mom was ill and he was stressed about it, he said that I should stop or else might cuss. Oh freaking go and i still miss that bastard. I should fucking hate him by now. what kind a stupid moron am I? I want him to regret in such a bad way that he should come to be with an apology , I know in this life its not possible haha for that bloody egoist. I want him to suffer through regret. Am I a bad person to think so if this is being bad am happy to be one. V you are a namard, spinless, brainless fucker. I should regret of meeting ypu in my life. How broken you have left me but I promise to shine like before. you have left me so broken, my heart, my belief in love, trusting, positivity you have ruined it all for me and you should be ashamed and guilty of it. But beta tera man tho khata hoga na.. man me tuze lagta hoga na ki tune galat kiya hai... mujhe abhi bhi taklif hoti hai. bohot jyada... tu apne life me set hai na isiliye tuje abhi kuch nai lagta but ime badalte der nai lagti...I curse you that ull regret and suffer. Baki you be healthy, happy, successful but regret for what you did.