John

John diary Forecast Events
2021-11-11 05:05:29 (UTC)

Depressed, Anxious, and Lonely.

‎Wednesday, ‎10 ‎November, ‎2021

Depressed, Anxious, and Lonely.
Yes I am.

WHY? Because of not having anything to do, Getting older as the day go on. Always have people around, not interested in talking to them. In fact even when people I use to work with call I have no interest in the past as they seem to always have. Once I learn of those that passed on for whatever reason, then as far as I am concerned, if their cntinue on with the future plans they have when older than I am even. I am done talking, but let them continue in their fairy land of the future, with really, oh, yea, and so on. But, I continue to listen so not to make them not want to call every so often.
Meet many people late evening when need that extra activity of sexular relief, use to call enjoyment. Once had two in one night even. At my age of 75 , that was only because I wanted to see if two would want to show up or not. Surprised as I was they did, and turned into a threesome, after I picked the one up as no transportation. The car arrival did offer carless one a ride, That way able to shower and off to nighty routine of eating, watching television as well as computer checking upon news of the day or future.
Women galore on the systems, be it call phones or computers always seeking those one night stands. More so than the men. In fact the women seeking dollars in time no matter what you want, you paying so I am told. Never paid for relief, and not now, no matter my looks as well as size. After all eat, you will get bigger. Looks, come along with that age. Maybe a great looked when your or adorable as so many would say. Ageing is reality especially with pimples or need of a hair cut. Then adulthood and your seeking work to be able to live on your own, because you feel that is whats needed to get away from taking the trash out or washing dinner daily dishes, sweeping house, mowing yards and so on.
Manhood stops when jobs lay off or eye's as well as body stops being young, and you need to find another job from the one your trained for. In order to support your family. You borrow money that makes your paycheck shorter after paying what you borrowed in order tomake it to the next payday. Changes are happening daily but once you get into retirement then it's a joy of not having to hurry to work or sleep in late and so on. After taking a few vacations of a little over two thousand miles every so often. Your body starts to feel worst and worst. You wonder how you pass the eye test to renew your drivers license to 2026, Surprised to see five years instead of four and three when younger.You wonder how your employer tells you to retire on a short oension that you paid into which is pocket money but helpful if no longer working.
Now, when you want something any place you have to drive, but don't feel like it because you know that the traffic is to blogged or your actions are slower to avoid so many non licensed drivers, but still don't want to get into any type of accident. You start thinking of how your life can change because of bad accidents even with insurance. That alone makes you think that you don't want to go where ever you wanted to. Then here comes delivery people, not taxis but everydaym people that drive you to or from a market and even bring you back. Some things I think back to at getting up at 2AM to deliver papers with my bike seven days a week. No longer done in this day and age. Now, news on 24x7 any hour of the day or night for any place in the UNited States or any country for that matter by getting on a computer. No more jobs for paper girls and boys even adults were in the business with cars until the World wide web or Internet started. Soon and some already using. Robot machines able to take your order and take your money and serve whatever type of meal you want. No human hands doing either. Hard to believe and I mean a real tasty keal with anything you can think of. At this time Walmart has already started food delivery service from their stores with carless drivers. Yes, no one in the drivers seat any longer and deliverys made on time at your house. Driverless cars, and many of you have no idea this has been going on for years. But, here of all places Arkansas home of the stor Walmart. Not only that you don't have to go to a cashier and wait in lines to pay for the items. Now your able to check your own grocieys out by going to a self serve and insert your money and you get change back. The maching takes your picture just in case your a shop lifter I suppose to turn you in for not scaning your expensive products. This has not been fully preventable, but will be very soon. There are dars now that can scan anything you pick up and even put it in your pocket and it has been scanned to start using shile shopping. Older people ike me can see the difference in life changes, but those born in the computer age will see it as normal everyday living. Soon no cash society what so ever all your bills will already be taken and you will be asked to pay this or that. I have doubts how that will work, after all no electric power and most stores will say cash only our atm machine is down. But, I won't put anything pass A1 today. After all I also remember hearing people will be paying for air and water, and thinking how mcan they do that. Also saying that is stupid. Yes, I was the stupid one as reading all the Dick Tracy comice I always thought how dumb being able to talk to people on a watch. Well, anything that you feel is comic and stupid then look around yourself as there coming. Flying cars, here now, cars turn into boats and back into car. Their here also. Electric cars and trucks as well as driveless here today. Picture like you computer on a screen and tying a letter or making a phone call can now be done from a watch thrown up on a wall of building your walking by. As well hands free calling or verbally soeaking what it is that your looking for. Robots skin liked but just a soft plastic or whatever they use, Robot human like and able to anser you back anytime. Happening already around this world.
There is so much happening, and I am not going to live to see a car take me on vacation when I am too tired. But, hey only 75 now, so I am going to try. If I am going to try, then the rest of you wanting to give up because of debts or losy affections for that partner. Never give up, as you may see things now that you once said could never happen. You won't know unless you stop feeling bad for yourself and live as long as possible. Anyone out in this big world wanting to join me in this shorter life I have now? My friend and family list already getting shorter. My partner list is not a partner list, as a partner is one that lives with you and shares each other and no others. I can get anything I really want now. But a true partner like an ex wife is not as you felt a true one on one partner. They cheat with others, for something different. Which I also did on her.But, finding that one and only that will stay by your side next to impossible to find. Sure they say they will for a roof and food over their heads. But, after a period of time they did for all you mhave already and there still able to meet someone else some place else. I am judgemental as well. Not a good thing they say. Hmm, wrong as even today I still get what I want as the younger also as well get what they want. Many their just want to see what it is like or looking for a dad figure. As I stated, still lookng for that one younger than me. But, many younger want older and we all have our reasons. My time pills are starting to kick in so need to lay down until I am recharged for another whatever I decide to do. Most excise I get from going to pee or sit at computer in my chair washing television or playing games on the computer or phone and so on. Then laying in bed waiting to get some nap time in.


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