šAmanda22Janeā¤
Ghost Writer
Summer's Here. 09:07 A.M.
Couple of hot days for early November. It's been great! Plenty hot, and Summer is not yet calendar official. The sunshine days are lengthening out their stay. Temperatures are rising, and the bluest skies in New Zealand's four seasons are here for a while. I love the spirit of Summer. There's a lightness in my heart that only this time of the year brings.
Never laughed so much and for so long watching 'Mom' on Netflix. It's good to have a good laugh, because as I laugh, I'm laughing just as much at myself as the characters. I've cried too...excellent series. Comes as highly recommended by me if you're in recovery...enjoy!! Even if you're not in recovery...enjoy!!š¤£šš¤£
We, inhabitants of Kiwiland, have Summer Christmases. It's pretty awesome. Wintertime, halfway through the year, is for snow sports and that only covers a small percentage of us Kiwi peoples who pursue these. I'm not one of these, which isn't to say that I wouldn't like to.
It's been a long lockdown and I've loved staying at home but the rest has been hell. Just moving out of hell in the past few days. Lockdown has turned people into assholes. (Or maybe they were assholes before lockdown.) Just hate dealing with others whose work lives are tied to bureaucratic systems and function. Occasionally you get an absolute angel who works within the system. It's these odd moments that you hold onto and treasure up against the stormy life of living. The hardest thing in the world for me to do right now is practice common civility with assholes. Their hearts and minds have turned to granite!
If and when I get angry, it only comes back to sting me many times over.
I hate being any part of other people's dysfunction but it's unavoidable.
Even though I work hard to get a clear message across, that leaves me open to that message being completely screwed over and twisted quickly into obscurity. Or I've insulted the bureaucrat on the other end or I'm open to belittlement, condescension or they make a game out of it.
Phoned reception at my medical center and got a curt~and~cold one word response from a receptionist. She announced her name and that was it. I was calling to make a phone appointment.
The entire side of our street was missed on recycling collection day at beginning of week. I call local government council to explain this, while simultaneously doing a walking observation around the neighbourhood to let her know that everyone else's bins have been done, and she turns it into a nasty game of inference. Making it seem like it was our side of the street with the problem. All she had to do was make another call to the recycling truck company and let them know. But no, she insinuated her question thus : are there stickers on the bin, yes, THE BIN, not bins (17 bins left uncollected) about non~approved items in them.
(This has never happened before. Our recycling not being collected.)
Twice she aske the question and twice I said that is not the issue here. The bins have not been emptied. She hung up on me at that point. I tried calling again and got hung up on again. Number recognition. My neighbour kindly agreed to phone shortly after and got results. The woman from local council brought up without being prompted this : it wasn't me who hung up on your neighbour.
She lied. The neighbour had her phone on speaker and I recognized her voice instantly. I broke down and cried, simply because it was the last straw broken across this camel's back. Later that day, I tried to go on their official website to make a complaint only to find it closed. This is not my shit.
Cops are now getting vulnerable people in this country to sign forms to hand over their social media accounts to them, so that they : the police can pretend to be the person that the account belongs to in order to do their investigations. This is complete bullshit.
When I was mentally ill, a sergeant made me sign a form to stop me from phoning 111. It was a temporary measure until they could put in place a simple call diversion to reroute my calls to mental health emergency services. I was very ill. I couldn't help doing this. They KNEW how fucken ill I was. That technical phone diversion was never done, and the form I signed was never done away with and was used to wrongfully convict me less than two years later, and has been brought up again in mid 2019, and appears to be a red flagged message to police. So much so, that they don't bother to answer me. The form I signed was totally illegal. Now I'm well, of course I don't make any calls. This is not my shit.
This is how those in power oppress.
And abuse the already vulnerable. The vulnerable are easily manipulated.
I have lost a substantial amount of hope in our justice system. I've lost what little trust I had in the police and have no confidence at all when dealing with them, which isn't often. This is not my shit.
Only two of them locally I trust, and they're younger. They are safe.
My brother was beaten by TNZP. When he was younger. A group of them took him and some paper phone books (they're thick), into a holding room with no cameras back in those days, opened the phone books and used their fists, baseball bat, and boots to beat him until they had expended their anger on him. It leaves less bruising.
I HATE DIRTY COPS. I HATE THEM WITH AN UNPRECEDENTED PASSION. I seem to attract them. I know that's not true. It's cop attitude. This is not my shit.
Last night, someone used something sharp, to slit a hole in my trash bag. It wasn't the cats. There'd be shredding around the opening and stuff coming out. I don't put meat scraps or bones in my trash bag. This is not my shit.
I'm still writing down everything.
This is how I stay well and keep complete control of my story.
I know that the Angels of Heaven watch over me and anyone else here who will let them.
I don't feel so vulnerable these days to other people's bullshit.
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