Nadia

wet blanket
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2021-11-02 20:34:50 (UTC)

Things are not as bad this ..

Things are not as bad this week. I never really know how to articulate the more positive entries. Negativity just seems to flow so naturally and freely out of me. Positivity is more subtle and i do notice it i just don't know exactly what is different or why.
I guess i feel a little less hopeless. Maybe.
I never try to hold onto positivty to strongly because i usually anticipate it being torn away soon.
It's kind of a shitty way of living: never being able to truly just appreciate something good because there is a constant fear of it being torn away from you.
i'm trying to work on my paranoia, that's what the therapy and meds are for.
But nonetheless i think it will always be there to some degree.


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