Fake It Till You Make It
Sitting on Front porches
Today, i skipped out on my responsibility's and went and saw my friend, showed up at her house and surprised her, loved her reaction, she was so excited and happy and i was too.... it was completely worth the internal struggle and guilt i was dealing with by leaving out on the things that i needed to do and was supposed to do, and for a while today it really was a struggle with feeling my guilt and trying to rationalize with myself that taking some time for yourself, is okay, taking a mental health day is okay, it's okay to take a deep breath, and let yourself rest, let yourself sit in silence, to watch a movie, to see your friend to laugh and have some fun, to sit together and vent and talk about all the things that have been bothering us and try to be there for each other though it all.
seeing Amber's reaction was worth it all.... i'm glad that today happened and i'm glad that i did it, even if it was kinda hard.
we sat on her front porch and talked and drank coffee, and just basked in the beautiful day, until like 9 o clock this evening so like six hours spent with her and that was amazing we really do need to do it more, jobs and adulting and just life get in the way but we make time for what we deem important, and i think My friendships are really important, and i know that i need to put myself and my mental and physical health a little higher on the list of things that are important (when you feel guilty for just taking time for yourself you are doing to much) aka me....right now.
it's just after midnight, i ate pizza for dinner, got pieces of stickers out of my feel from walking in grass in my stupid ballet flats, and then played PUBG with Amber and B, and now it's time to settle down, and wind down and try to sleep, i feel tired so that's a good thing and took my melatonin a little bit ago so that will start working soon, and tomorrow starts a new week, it is a new day, and i'm feeling a little bit closer to ready to face it tonight than i was last night kinda dreading everything.
I will have the kids tomorrow and i need to do some stuff for work, but i can do that in the nap times and low moments hopefully.
it's also November 8th, which is exciting cause it's another day closer to my friends birthday, which i'm excited about because i have great ideas, great gifts, great surprises planned.
Then after her birthday passes on the 20th we will be so close to starting December which is exciting because the kids and B will be able to start opening the advent calendars i made them, we'll have Friendsmas sometime in the month of December, we will have secret santa, we will have the Christmas party, and then of course Christmas official, which is my favorite holiday.
I am feeling really happy right now, which i think is starting to look like an every other day thing cause one day i write and i'm alright and then next the world is ending, when in reality there are always good thing and always bad things happening constantly.
Anyways i'm off to bed....
Tell me what is a Christmas time tradition or thing you like or thing you do around this time of year?
should i give it a try?
let me know....
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