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2021-11-07 23:51:18 (UTC)


I hate myself. I hate my life. And I want to kill myself. I should’ve just given up on the world from the beginning.

These are feelings brought on by extreme mortification I felt after a certain social interaction.

During said social interaction, I awkwardly stated something that was unnecessary. I believe it was because I felt embarrassed for how I looked at that moment and that fact that I was out at all.

In order to avoid a situation like this in the future, it would be in my best interest to stop trying to get emotionally invested in any of these situations. Leave it for the passion stuff/hobbies. Or go to sleep at a decent hour. I hate myself. Why did I do that. I want to die. Please put me out of my misery. I can’t go on like this. I hate my existence.

Perhaps I should just stop existing. It pains me to replay an event like that in my head. Idk what kind of pain that is but it’s something bad and cringey and painful and miserable and sad and awkward and a faux pas and unnecessary and I just want to die. I hate humanity.