from my heart
2021-11-03 21:05:15 (UTC)

manners and the way you treat others

10:05 pm

today, i went out to eat with my mom, her boyfriend, and my sister. we went to a mexican seafood restaurant. the food was pretty good. we got crab.

the server we had was really sweet and nice.

im upset and a bit embarrassed of my mom and her boyfriend. i noticed that they can say their words a lot nicer and have a better tone. i know my mom and him arent the best at english so they can sound a bit rude.. but even then i feel like they can be a lot nicer still with how they treat the servers.

for example we went to a different restaurant and the server was super kind then too. but my moms boyfriend would talk about how the server is being overly kind and fake. i dont understand why he had to look so deeply and find something negative to say about someone who was just trying his best to serve his customers well and do his job. that bothered me.

maybe it's because i work at a restaurant too. so i know how hard it can be dealing with customers, thats why i hate to cause extra work for employees.

well today, my mom and her boyfriend were demanding forks and the basket and gloves.. i felt like they couldve said everything nicer from the start or at least have a kinder facial expression. the server was super nice so he kept nodding his head and i could tell hes just trying his best despite how busy it was.

at the end of our meal the server came back with the check and i guess the card slipped out of the check envelope so then my mom and my moms boyfriend were kind of upset. which i can understand. if you werent satisfied with the way the server was treating you (even though he was super nice to begin with) then something actually unpleasant to your own experience happens, of course now you have an actual reason to be upset.

they were waiting for the card and everytime the server stopped looking for the card and was helping another customer out because the other customers were raising their hand for him, my mom and her boyfriend would scoff about the fact that the server wasnt looking for the card. i get that they wanted their card but i just wish they could be more understanding of how its like to work at a restaurant.

i found it extremely embarrassing when my moms boyfriend was snapping his fingers trying to get the attention from one of the servers. i think that is rude and condescending.

when i came home, i told my mom about how i felt about them being that way to the servers. that even though maybe the servers couldve done a better job, i feel like they should work on some manners and being patient. she seemed offended and told me that she didnt want to hear it and that she didnt know what i was talking about. she said that she doesnt think her boyfriend and her did anything wrong. she said that she thinks its a difference in mindset from her and i.

i think its just basic manners and etiquette.

i dont want to go out to restaurants and go to family events with them if they are going to be that way to people. i asked my mom what if it was me that was her server and she saw the customers treating me the way that she and her boyfriend was. she ignored that.

anyways, i just felt like ranting about that. my mom and her boyfriend aren't bad people. i know that they are actually really kind people but i want them to treat people mindfully.

i know that at the end of the day, i cant change anyone except for myself.. theres a lot of flaws i have too and traits of myself i would like to work on.

just like how my mom and her boyfriend has facial expressions that seem rude.. i can be that way to my mom. so, my goal is to set an example. im going to put more and more effort on the way i talk with my mom and the facial expressions i make too.

im going to try and work on being a better listener. at work, im going to work on not taking things personally and always try my best. im going to work on my self love and also try to be more open. one of the big things i want to work on is not bashing myself for tiny mistakes or embarrassing situations or the way i act.

im going to have lovely intentions with my actions, choices and words.

i think the more i observe the way people act and think, i start to realize that gossip and hate seems to be more of a insecurity and self hatred.

also, i dont like to talk bad about people. i used to do it a lot but i dont do it anymore because i start to feel extremely upset and guilty and i start to hate myself.

anyways. going to finish cleaning up my room, bathroom, and laundry.

good night all & hope everyone has a lovely day!