theorizing fool

Processing Life
2021-10-31 11:09:59 (UTC)

I'm a Mess

I know I'm a mess. I know it's all for the best. You say you don't see me that way anymore. I was relieved. I was happy for a bit.

But it turns out that wasn't true. You have your guard up. You're being careful with your words with me. You're no longer comfortable. I'm sorry for still treating you like a friend. I will leave you alone now. I'm sorry for still continuing to bother you after our many goodbyes. I just don't get the hint, do I?

I showed you my weaknesses. I guess you don't like what you see. Deep inside, I wanted you to say that I was worth it, that I was worth keeping. No, for you, I'm just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Being rejected like this by friends, I am the problem. It hurts getting abandoned again and again. I just want people to stay. Tell me I'm worth it. Tell me you accept me, weakness and all. Tell me you'll stay no matter what.

Anyone, love me. Am I not worthy of being loved? I do my best. I'm sorry I screw up. I always do, huh? How unloveable am I? Why do people leave? Why do people get tired of me? Tell me. Hurt me. Just don't ignore me.

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