secret

Becoming quietly confident
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2021-10-29 02:17:50 (UTC)

Reflections

Found myself running into a bit of exhaustion today and getting a headache from it. I took a excedrin which is the only thing that helps when I get like this. I’m starting to decide that I’m done at 7pm each night no matter what’s left to do. I need a moment to rest and reflect and organize my thoughts before going to sleep.

I’ve had a few friends message me and are waiting on replies back which I have not been able to get too. One friend wants to plan a get together with me and my husband and I can’t even imagine how in the world we are going to be able to plan with her around our schedules.

Watched “MAID” again with my husband. The main character is a domestic abuse survivor.
In one of the episodes she is wrestling with being in an domestic violence shelter because she didn’t recognized the abuse she had been through yet. She felt like she didn’t actually belonged in the shelter. Like she was faking. My husband was a bit dumbfounded and couldn’t understand what she didn’t think she belonged. I told him I understood what she was saying because my own father was about that bad, but you don’t know it’s bad when your in it, it’s just life. He looked at me a little shocked. He and I have talked about the anger my father had, but I guess he never really understood what it looked like.

At another point in the episodes the main character is talking about how her boyfriend took her debit card away after she didn’t pay something on time, and how financial abuse like that is considered emotional abuse. My husband looked over at me and asked if I felt like that when he took over our finances. I said quietly said ‘yes’... and then we both got quiet and just kept watching the show.


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