Fake It Till You Make It
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I miss writing, I seem to over the past over a decade now, have left and come back to this site so many times and i still have diary's here, abandoned, one that has over a thousand entry's and one that i shared with a friend from a place in time so far back that i leave it there and forget about it, until times like this where i remember it exists and smile, because it's a time capsule.
I can't seem to stay away for long, because i miss writing, i miss the interaction with people on this site, i miss the therapeutic release that is leaving my thoughts somewhere.
Lets see if i can not make the same mistakes that i've made over and over, with this over the past decade though.
Rule 1. No one knows it exists.
Rule 2. Be vague.
Rule 3. Don't write shit about people.
Rule 4. Be honest
Rule 5. Write because you love it, and need it and don't give a shit about what other people think.
I'm having a really hard time in life right now, and i will talk about that another time, we have plenty of time to dredge the past and the present.
Right now i just want to talk about something that isn't bad or difficult, or dire.
i don't want to talk about my lack of sleep, my overworked time, the fact that i have to wake up tomorrow and do it all again.
no... right now we are going to talk about some good things, in fact i will list them.
all the good things i can think of right now.
1. It's fall, and the weather is cooler and the trees are changing.
2. October is almost over.
3. I have birthday and Christmas gifts ready to give
4. the holidays are around the corner.
5. Melitonin exists
6. Chocolate exists
7. Coffee exists
9. Music.... enough said.
10. Going though shit right now is making me want to write, both in general and poetry.
11. I have an original sketch idea that i can't get out of my head.
12. My room is clean and organized.
13. I have books to read.
14. I can breath.
15. New season of Locke and Key is out.
16. Shane is making videos again.
17. i have a new Denim Jacket.
18. I Have a candle burning and it smells like Autumn.
19. Tik Tok is funny.
21. PUBG with it's new old updates
22. Snail mail.
26. Showers/ Baths depending on the mood.
27. Short hair.
28. Liquid coffee creamer
30. Nostalgic movies and tv shows.
35. Fuzzy socks
36. Lip stick.
37. My laptop
38. people who care
40. The fact that i'm currently alone
41. Personality tests.
46. Freshly shaved legs and freshly washed sheets
50. Acting silly
I could go on and on, with the little and big good things but i think i could also go on and on about the bad, i feel like it's a battle inside my mind right now which is going to win out, so i think i will throw myself into an episode of something or a book and then go to sleep because the meds are starting to kick in, i can feel them.