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2021-10-22 00:12:23 (UTC)

Self sabotaging once again

That’s what I like to call repulsion. I won’t even try to block out the sounds or try to pretend those things aren’t happening, that’ll only make me feel bad when I feel so much dislike for him in the future. There’s no point in suppressing that within me. I don’t like him. I hate that I share a room with him. I think that he’s weird and annoying and gross and I don’t want to be near him. Of course I don’t hate or wish death upon him but there’s a difference between hating someone and thinking you don’t want to be near them and their loudness. His presence is fudging obnoxious. I’d wish him the best, across the country. But right now, I generally couldn’t care less because he,, I really really really hate being near him.

Irrelevant. I’m not gonna try blocking out the noise. I’m going to sleep, this is my punishment for not sleeping earlier because I’m an idiot and my brother is a grossly loud person. Maybe I like the silence. I want to off myself right now.