Emily

Day In the Life of an American Teen
2021-10-21 21:37:48 (UTC)

Witchcraft? Santeria?

Okay...So, Joe, the dad, emailed me.

For context, in case I forgot to write about it, I was 'jealous' when I saw him playing dad with his niece. I was jealous when he mentioned his friend's daughters and their lives and made it clear he was involved, considering he knew so much.

Both mom and I mentioned this to him. I wasn't really 'jealous' and neither of us even used that word. I just felt like...why couldn't you play dad for me?

Anyways. He emails me, out of the blue, completely uninstigated, to say, "Don't be jealous but Aunt Val came up from Florida and I'm gonna be visiting with her."

Oh god. Oh god.
"Dont be jealous, I'm talking to chezni."
"Dont be jealous, I fucked her."
"Dont be jealous" *shows me screenshots and/or videos of another girl*

Okay. Okay. Okay. Like, panic attack, gonna kill myself, okay. Why why whyy would you say that. Why? Because he's Leo? They're the same? Why would you say that? Is he seriously acting like that? Trying to make me jealous on purpose? Is that the man he is? I can't comprehend it. I can't understand what would go through his mind to do that.

Also, who even tf is Aunt Val.

Apart from that, I don't know if I wrote about this, and it's very embarrassing.

One night, I was otp with Leo, he told me to go get lotion, a lighter, and water 'just in case.' I was like why? And he was like, do it. And I did it because I was curious what he was trying to do.

He told me to put the lotion on my...kitty..down there, ya know? And then told me to burn it. The hair. Yes. Burn it. And I wasn't going to. I wasn't planning on it. I was just going to fake it and move on with my life. But then I held the flame too close and it kind of did and then I had to use the water and shave and it was a whole thing.

For the record, my kitty is perfectly fine now. It was just the hair.

So, I had no idea what the fuck that was for. Everyone I asked told me to run from him and he refused to tell me.

Eventually he did, and he said it was a 'spell' that made me infertile unless it was his cum.
Yeah, the full grown man did a 'spell' on me.

And then I didn't think anything of it because I don't believe in that. And like, how would that even work? Like, okay?

And I saw a tiktok and the video said she was tired of her soul tie and the symptoms she had because her soul was tied to someone else. And I just commented a joke mocking Leo about he says all the time.
"Your soul is mine."
And it was just a joke but everyone was replying and telling me to run for my life and basically being dramatic.

This girl private messaged me and was like, "That's Santeria. That's what he did. He made you infertile for all but him."

And...like..I didnt even tell her what he said. So, obviously, they both have the same definition of what that 'spell' is so it wasn't just him pulling bullshit out of thin air.

"He killed your seed to not respond to anyone else is." Is what she said.
"Brujo. Male witch."

But Leo is too stupid. He couldn't do that. He doesn't know about that.

"He created a soul tie." "Took my free will" "You've got a parasite" "You're Irish?"

I'm Irish? Like, how did she know that? My dad said there's Irish on his side and you can just see the Irish on my mom's side. But, like, I don't have any pictures of myself on tiktok, or instagram, so I don't know how she would find that information. All she knows is my first name. Like...?

She said me resisting him is making me physically sick. And I mean, she isn't wrong...? I've compared leaving him to withdrawal so many time. My stomach hurts, I'm exhausted and nauseous, and the headaches I used to get whenever I tried to leave him.

And then she mentioned Servitor, whatever the fuck that is, and how it 'speaks in my own voice from inside my head, forcing me to think about it.'

And I'm just...she's not wrong. I'm always arguing with myself over him. "You deserve to be treated that way, he does love you he just doesn't know how to, you started it first."

But, like, there's some other reasonable explanation, that I'm just arguing with myself to give myself excuses to stay with him longer.

"You're not mean't for this man. Your spirits won't allow it."

I mentioned how I cheated first and so I deserve it, "Stop thinking you're a bad person for that. You made a mistake. You were a child."
Which is comforting to hear.

I don't think...I believe in that stuff. But, even if I don't and it's not even real at all, the fact that he consciously tried to do a 'spell' on me like that? He actually did that to me. In his mind, it works. So he actually consciously decided to do that to me.

I want him to know that I know, but she said not to. I just want him to feel fear, that I know and it's over.
I think I'm going to play along though. I'm gonna pretend I believe it and do the 'cord-cutting' or whatever the hell she said. I mean, if it makes me feel better and makes me feel like I can leave him, then sure. Fuck it.

It's not true. I'm not infertile.




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