who_am_i

Just a teenager
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2021-10-18 17:26:36 (UTC)

Being a teen is hard

And being an adult will probably be harder.Well,that's just life I guess.

Today was interesting.Before lunch break, nothing happened. I drank a lot of tea. I sat with grace because my older deskmate changed her seat(idk why, she prob feels uncomfortable around me) so that's how we will be sitting for the next idk how many months.
Lyla was finally back to school after weeks of absence. We didn't talk much. I was a bit rude to her but that's because I envy her a lot. I feel so sad about our relationship deep inside, that I keep pushing her away even more.I still love her so much but it's too late now.

Graces cousin came to school but he was a bit late.Grace was so sad before he came and I could see her eyes lit up when he entered the room. She told me that she was feeling better.
I have to admit, I feel the same way about him.I have no idea what this has to do with, but he excites me.He is so interesting to be around.He's one of those people. I Wonder if anyones gonna ever gonna see me this way one day. I don't think so.
I don't remember much but I think we chatted a little bit. I was talking with Lyla, but I couldn't wait to talk to him in lunch break.So I left.
The next periods we were drawing with grace. Then grace sat with him and I sat near them. He saw me drawing and asked me to sit with him so that I can draw on his desk.
He wanted me to draw an anime character. I wasn't expecting him to be into anime at all lmfao but I drew it and he liked it.
It's very strange but I felt like I was being used.I kept asking myself, does he actually want me around or is it just because he wants me to draw things. I had a lot people back in my freshman year who used me just so that I draw what they want. I drew for all them cuz I'm stupid. Anyways, I hope he's not one of those people.
One of the girls told me that I was pretty and talented, I felt happy for a moment but then I remembered how much I hate the way I look.
We're trying to clean up the house and I argue with my mom a lot.


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