no name
2021-10-15 10:24:51 (UTC)


I'm not even getting an education, I'm not learning, I'm completing assignments. I don't even--I couldn't care less that Ms. E or Ms. D want me to complete my canvas crap. Why she even so pushy and adamant with this crap? She can do it herself if she wants them done so bad. See how fast she does it. To show off that her daughter has straight A's in online school? Because she 'loves me'? To feel like a better mother? To give me a better chance? I don't care enough about my fudging useless future. If anything, I just want to enjoy being young without responsibilities then overdose on something later on. Because I'd rather die. I don't care for anyone here and nobody cares for me so it would be perfect anyway.

Oh how I wish there wasn't the threat of going to hell, I wouldn't even be here right now. ugh, wish I'd done it when I was feeling worse
whats tragic is I don't have the guts to do it, and i have to live looking like this. i wish someone would just do the job for me, isekai me into another world or something.

maybe I should ask her to do them instead. then she'd understand. but then again she, a full functioning adult, would easily able to complete that stuff. so of course she wouldn't get it, much less be able to be understanding. unless she does understand and her expectations of me are normal, and i am just too stupid and overestimated despite being defective that I cannot follow through with what i'm meant to do. someone should terminate me and my low level intelligence.
There is easily detected hostility within my action, expressions, and words when it comes to interacting with siblings. The same can be said about my awkwardness. In contrast, someone like *him* would calmly interact, getting it over with even quicker, and efficiently. Die.