Feeling Dead Inside

An Obstructed View
2021-10-14 11:16:11 (UTC)

Unappealing me...

My life has been a nightmare, all I did was ask my daughter to leave my bedroom so I could change and she literally responded with..."well, your nothing to look at"...she can be so rotten, as if I'm not feeling lousy enough already because of everything and now I can be insulted as well when the opportunity arises which is all the time with her!
I really can't take anymore...
My life shouldn't be this way...what did I do to deserve any of this, honestly?
I was already starting to have a bad day because I was thinking about all the times I wanted my husband to go out with me and he wouldn't...now, I realize it was because of her, so he could be near her...instead of me. I didn't look the way she did...obviously better than me especially where I just got the insulting comment from my own daughter about how I look so now I know the truth...I'm nothing to look at and that's exactly why my husband wanted someone else and not me...unattractive, unappealing me! I must really be a useless P.O.S....my kids, my husband think so even though everything I have ever done has been for them but I'm a lousy P.O.S., as always! I just don't know what to think about anything anymore...I'm completely lost, my thoughts are all over the place and I'm feeling miserable...I don't know if I ever will feel truly happy again. True happiness at this point is a distant memory...far away and hard to obtain.
How did everything in my life take a left turn? I feel I have lost everything...my husband, my kids including my own sanity...
I just want to scream or not say anything at all, close myself off again so I can't be hurt anymore. I have been hurt so much in the last four months that I literally have had enough for a lifetime...


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