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It's been a long time since my last entry.
On the 13th of September, waking up. Rub my eyes, opening them for the first glance of the day. Everything was fuzzy and things are getting double vision.
The double vision persists for an hour and my mom drove me to the hospital MRI scan.
Was hoping it wasn't stroke or anything, next day doc says there a tumor pressing against my optic nerve. I started to panic, and doc after 2 weeks, I've done a surgery for biopsy not the remove the tumor but just to be sure.
Ends up it was a bone cancer called Chordoma. My life spun in a downwards spiral, started to cry for the whole week. I'm only 24, thinking how could this happen to me.
After a week of depression, I started to feel loved, The feeling that I thought I would never feel again, the feeling that I'm hunting in life. As I was a person who failed in life, that can't feel or give love. I always told myself that my family doesn't care about me anymore.
I was so wrong, for so many years. My family heard the news and they came to care about me. Their worries written on their faces. Makes me so sad and loved at the same time.
I'm now happier than ever, knowing that they still have me in their hearts no matter what. I still cry every day looking at the picture I found by a PC game called Oxygen not included. It was a fanart. And i imagine me as the patient and all the wonderful people that give me hope and love as the nurses Thinking that I was such a fool, that I didn't notice that so many wonderful people are giving endless Love to me.
After so many years I have finally found the most important thing in life that can't be bought.
I want to thank God for blessing me with this amazing gift.