It is what it is
I have had anxiety for the past few days or more like symptoms of PTSD. Really, I have a pamphlet of psychological disorder diagnosis. I think they are all just on a continuum swaying between one another fucking doctors heads up. What I know is the DSM is full of shit. It is a great diagnostic tool to some degree but with more education I realize it is to some degree useless. Back in the day, psychologists primarily performed free analysis which did not help my condition. In fact, a majority of my life I thought there was some moral or personal failing on my part. Lol. Anyway, finally, after diagnosis after diagnosis failed to yield effective treatment ADHD was thrown out there. I was never able to keep my life together. I tried everyday and was so disappointed because no matter how hard I tried I wasn't able to read sentences thoroughly, remember appointments, get the kids to drop off everyday. I began to self medicate. I dove into an eating disorder for some type of release. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I could not understand how everybody was able to do what they could. It took me down a dark road. It did. While I still struggle with some emotional dysregulation particularly at now, I will one day get my got damn PhD.