If I die today
Its been a while a looong time. I love you thou. I'm sorry I wasnt able to have a real relationship or connction that was sustained thru adulthood. Please know I love you and care about you . Theres a struggle I face when dealing with social emotional things and distance and forgive me I have taken offence easily this isnt spefic to you but overall I have felt left out or unwanted or rejected . To this day this is not what I feel or want. I just dont know where to start to reachout or connect/reconnect to people spefically family and releitives. Hopefully you are not seeing this in my passing. That would be awful. Anyhow I remeber you visiting with us one time at moms work after my thumb was wrapped up bc I accidently cut it as an adult we had a good chat and lunch. you were famous for your 13 hugs. Noone has ever presented that to me like that. I remeber feeling loved visiting you I dont remeber if it was as an adult or very late teen it was in nc. you are an amazing host. Please know I love you and care about you. Youre life is a remarkable story of endurance. You've overcame a lot and are still overcoming things. Theres always hope and room to grow. Please keep doing your best and push forward for what is good. Keep those you love close and near. You have a lot to offer never stop hugging. Continue to host and show your love and share laughs smiles and expiernces. Pour into your children and grandchildern. I'm sorry I havnt been involved or been there for you . I dont know what to say. Im interested in reconnecting today the how is very overwhelming and a little embarssing. If this is in my passing be included to the exetent that you want. I dont know what you know or dont know of me. Im a little messed up its true. Today I'm differnt but theres room for improvement. I dont want to be a resentful person or malicous or mean or unapporachable. I am sorry for offences and absentses. Please forgive me for any wrongs. The main thing I want you to know I love you and I want to love you.