If I could, I would look like that in all ways but genitalia. I wish I didn’t have defining features like that. There’s just something so invigorating about getting referred to as he.
I feel like my body decided not to cooperate. To have mismatched pieces. I feel agender in the sense that I AM just a brain. That’s why there’s that disconnect from my body and name. I don’t even pay attention to how I’m referred to irl because I just don’t recognize that as myself.
But unfortunately, recognizing my gender identity does not cancel it the existential dread, nor the desire to be extracted from my body and float in the void instead.