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2021-09-30 21:31:33 (UTC)

It was the 20th of April, 2011 ..

It was the 20th of April, 2011 I think. Or earlier. Whenever the one after my mum died was. There were photos, but I'm not tagged in them anymore.

I get confused. I'm getting them confused, the one before and the one after my mum died.

I wore her green Paisley dress. And one of the fentanyl patches she'd left behind. And on the way back home, a man sat next to me even though I was the only person upstairs, and his arms were crossed, and towards the end of the journey I felt him stroke the side of my chest. Of course I'd just zone out, a defence mechanism I developed over the many times I've been physically, visually or verbally molested when on the bus in my school uniform, or on the street in my civvies, and I took the eye of some random man.

I think this might be the closest thing to a "Universal" AFAB Experience. A person who lived as female all through adolescence. The things that random men will say and do as soon as you hit puberty, or are close to. Not to say that cis boys and trans girls don't ever get that, but I think it's realistic to say AFABs, generally, get it the worst. Cishetero-normativity plus the aspect of toxic masculinity that warps a man's sexual conquest into something more important than anything about a girl.

What's so great about teenage girls anyway, right? They're vapid and over-emotional and annoying. And SO much hard work compared with their male counterparts. Plus, most of them have AWFUL taste. 'Twilight'? 'My Little Pony' before men decided they liked it, demanded the soft, brushable manes became hard plastic like the rest of their stiff plastic "art toys"? I honestly can't think of anything else right now. 'Jennifer's Body,' expect that was marketed towards men, even though it's made by and for women, and so everyone dismissed it.

If I'd seen 'Jennifer's Body' earlier than I did, then maybe, just maybe, 2018 would've gone a little bit better for me, because I would've known better. Just maybe.

Point is, teenage girls are portrayed/seen as frivolous and vapid, and/or sexy. It's terrible for self-image. That's why NLOGs exist. The white-knight incels of femininity.

I think I must've got sidetracked. I think I've made the point that I wanted to make, and it was inspired by Summer's character while I was watching 'Rick & Morty'.