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2021-09-28 20:13:53 (UTC)

I suppose I kind of gave him ..

I suppose I kind of gave him an easy out. I know there is a predator in me, a feral creature that only cares about it's own hunger. And yes, sometimes I don't keep it on a short enough leash. I push boundaries. I act cruelly. He knows, or has known that I know this about myself.

I tried though. I really did and in the end I just wanted him to feel the pain that he made me feel, to stop being reminded of him. If I'd known earlier that he cried over how bad he made me feel then I would've softened... I would've been sated.

If if if. Bargaining.

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