Little lost girl

2021-09-25 21:58:54 (UTC)

I did it

Yes Diary,

Yes, I finally did it, but not because I had set out to, I have been sleeping in "The Shoe Room" for quite sometime now. Last night he finally came in and asked me " Do you like sleeping in here?" I said no, not really, he asked then why do you. I had to be honest, I said because I'm thinking things thru, I can handle what's going on with you 2. I tried I really tried to change my thinking for so many of my friends have Poly or open relationships, I thought maybe I'm not progressive enough, I'm being juvenile with my emotions so,....I tried it was not pretty or graceful it was a mess. When I found out she was doing him in the ass with s strap on I felt cheated on, then knowing they lay on the bed and she talks while he Jack's off I felt deception. To me these are intimate acts things not shared. Last was she flew here a friend of hers was sick she planned on staying 3 days...Mon, Tue &Wed, on Monday he told Me about it so he did not plan on going that day. Tuesdays he has dinner with his mom he would never take time from her....He said I'm going Wed. I replied WEDNESDAY! My only day off? Of course so I can think about it all day long. That really told me his intentions were to see her I could wait. I feel lifeless, empty and sad. I gave him 9 years . 9! 9 years and I thought he was my forever I really did, now, well its time to carve a plan. I'm feel horrible ill come back later.