Nadia

wet blanket
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2021-09-21 16:50:42 (UTC)

I love my sister. Zoe is the ..

I love my sister. Zoe is the best person.
She has supported me through so much. In a way it is a god send that she understands because her struggles are not so different from my own but... I also feel bad that she must suffer the same things i do. I know how much it sucks. I know the pain. I know the exhaustion. I know the disappointment.

I remember having a really bad day and trying to eat one mandarin despite the nausea. I almost immediately felt sick and ran to the bathroom, zoe followed me. She sat on the edge of the bath tub while i threw up this one mandarin. She watched over me. Made sure I was okay.
While I was vomiting I started to cry and wail. Out of pure exhaustion. Because I was giving up.
She told me it would be okay.
Not many people would know how to support someone in such a state of sadness and desperation. But just her presence made me feel better despite how awful i was feeling. Just like when we were kids we would always go to the bathroom together. One of us would stand in the corner and look away.
It was just like that. Except Zoe was getting a full view of me emptying my guts. She's a real trooper. Not that I wouldn't do the same for her because I absolutely would.
It's just weird that most people would want to be alone while they threw up but Zoe knew i didn't want to be alone at that moment. I wanted her to watch over me.
I think i'm just thinking about it because it was one of my weakest points ever and she was somehow there to support me. Despite feeling unsupportable.


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