no name
2021-09-16 10:02:16 (UTC)

First day living by myself

This morning was tough, I woke up and said to myself that this was gonna be a good day. I went downstairs and found the house empty quiet and barren. I started crying immediately at 7:00 a.m. I needed to go about my day and I have a dentist appointment that I tried not to cry yet but definitely on the way there. I got home around 1020am and needed to workout with Robyn. She reminded me to not feel guilty about feeling sad. Gave me a big hug and told me to let it all out so I did and it felt good. We had a good ab workout while talking and I definitely felt better. I talked to my mom before the dentist and cried as I did. My mom is a Saint and I love her forever and she deserves the world. After working out I needed to sleep for work so I ate some leftovers and finally went to sleep. I had a few tears as I had to actually go to our bedroom. Our bedroom is the worst part in the house. I went to sleep fine and got up to get to work. The majority of my shift was awful and I had to go cry in the bathroom and break room very briefly. Jan finally called around 130am and it was a godsend. I completely turned around from there. I finally felt like I could breathe and the next 3 hours of my shift were normal. I called my dad on the way home and I miss him so much but don't realize til I talk to him and I always enjoy talking to him and I love him so much.

On a separate note I need to remember to take my pills with such a weird schedule right now.

I still miss Jan and being home now after my shift I feel like I can breathe still but I'm also having a twinge of sad. I'm sure now I can get through this but I'm still scared and I'm still sad. And I'm still me and I'm going to get through this.

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