My Hopeless Life
2021-09-15 08:46:12 (UTC)

About The Unlucky Me

I don't know how to start writing, Usually people start with Dear Diary, but I ain't doing that, i don't want to be like others. I have done the things other asked me to do, I have lived a life others asked me to live, i have studied the things that others asked me to study, I have even eaten the things that others asked me to eat. isn't my life shitty, Just live according to the rules others made for me, nothing i can do of my own choice, nothing i can wear of my own choice, i cant even die without others permission, for God sake i am not your toy, But seems like no one will ever understand that. People say that when there is a will, there is a way, but i think it is just a bullshit, because for we even when i have a will to do something i can't find a way, why is God so cruel.
Enough of my complaining lemme introduce my self,
I am Zari and i am 16,
i have 5 other siblings, no no no not 5 let's say 7 but i don't include other two as siblings cuz they aren't from our mother, my father is actually a
person who like marrying every year, i ain't joking i swear.
My mother was his first wife, after that he married another women but at that time i wasn't born, only my two elder sisters were born, and after that he married another women, it happened when i was only 9, he have two kids from that women. and she is still here living with him peacefully while we are suffering and we cant even say a thing like we are suffering because he feed us two time a day, how funny my life is.
now back to the topic, after his third marriage he married another women when i was 13, but it was only for a week or two and then he divorced her, and again he married a girl of 20 years old, literally only 2 years older then my elder sister, it was a few months ago and she is still married to him, i really feel sad for that girl because her parents married her off without her consent.
Enough about my father lets move to my mother.
My mother was such a sweet women she loved us more then anyone else, she still love us or not i don't know but now she is always hitting me and cursing me, its not like she only do this to me but i am the one suffering the most because i have a cheerful personality so i always try to laugh and make others laugh so i am the main target of every ones insult. i am always laughing but i doesn't mean that i am not hurt. i never complain but it doesn't mean that i don't want to live a normal life.
when i went to college i make some friends with whom i can share my worries with and when i told them about my life they were like "from your face it never felt like you have been suffering this much" and i was like "i don't like showing everything on face because i don't want sympathy".
That is it for today,i will write again when i have time.