I'm old now
I turned 60 five weeks ago. How the fuck did that happen?? I don't really feel like it's gone fast but at the same time it just crept up on me. The last 10 years are a complete blur. I did nothing with them. Such a fucking waste.
I went through a period of time where I had many regrets of what I did in the 80's. For me that decade was all about booze, drugs and music. I kind of cared about guys but the booze and drugs outweighed everything. I loved being drunk and stoned and in dark dank pubs watching loud bands. I did that almost every night of the week for 8 years. I have forgotten more than most people have done. I had alot of fun and I didnt give a shit about anything. How I held down a day job is beyond me.
My entire world fell to pieces when my dad died. It was sudden and a hammer blow to me and my life style. Everything came to a grinding halt and I never recovered. I became very anxious and that's something that is still with me. Before my dad dying, I was up for anything and everything, no question. After him passing the panic attacks became part of my everyday life.
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