Jan left this morning
We got up early at 3 am and I helped him with his bags into the car. I drove just 5 mins from the house and dropped him off. He was the first one there this time so we said a longer goodbye. Hugging him in his uniform always feels so good. I told him to be safe and have fun but not too much. Then I drove back home and got into bed. I fell asleep after texting him I loved him. When I woke up at 9 he was already in Dallas. I was sad but not enough to cry. I had things to do today. I called my mom and had a small cry with her later on. I cooked dinner and it turned out halfway okay. The real loneliness sat in after I ate. I took a bath and cried as I did. I put on his shirt he gave me in high school and got his blanket and sat on the couch after I put the birds to bed. I cried some more and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up a bit confused and decided to go to bed. I've been sitting up in our very quiet very lonely bedroom all alone on my phone for the past hour and all I want to do is cry but it's hard. All I want is him back and this quiet hole filled.i want someone here with me I want my mom and dad. I just want to talk to someone. But it's 10 and I should just go to sleep soon. I love you Jan and I can't wait to talk to you and see you again soon.
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