If I die today
This is to my first husband and my refrence his family,
I hope you are doing well and have foubd some sorta peace in life and piece of mind. We were actually young and dum . I was desperate. As rude as that sounds I always wanted to be up to speed and felt behings. I kept my part of the pact. I'm sorry that I put you in this postion. At the time of our marrigage and oh gosh years and years prior I was not operating in my right mind or a healthy manner. As far as healthy by God's defintion not what society has labeled as good. Anyhow I'm sorry for the bitterness resentment and confusion that I've had but also that I may have caused. I should not have participated in nor joked about the powr randger idenity there is real evil out there While I still dont know whats what it wasnt a game to you and I'm sorry. Partly it wasnt aa game to me either but my heart was intended for fn but something IDK what forces behind it but I expiernced a few things as well I dont know what they were or why and its not something to be mixed up in now. And who knows maybe it was my mind and you were the one playing along. Anyhow I am sorry for not allowing you the life you could have had I was a distraction and too immature for a real relationship/marriage then an I thought I could force the pieces together for my own status to be up to date it was a selfish mistake. Right now in my life you are not a part and I would not see it as a good thing if you were intentionally made aware of my death orhad part in the leftovers. I am sorry about the ring that was a big give on your part and for the what 6months we were together together we had exspences. I olny feel a sence of debt over the ring and wouldnt find it wrong if you did pursue that but I dont want you too or exspect it. I'm grateful we did not reproduce. I'm a little ashamed of our relationship bc it really was a joke . I went to far and I shouldnt have exspected you to be responible. anyhow its all over and in the past I hope you can forigve me and find your own healing and truth. I dont hold anythign against you or your family. In my mind I would just consider our relashiop null and void never honorable or accpeted. It was an error in judgement I am sorry . hope you have the best in life and whatever your needs are I hope they are met I cannot be your provision mentaly, socially, emotionaly, or physcially. In life as we know it today I would preffer that we dont have an encournter and if we do I would hope it was nothing.
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