The Dream Drifter

PrivateThoughts
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2021-09-14 23:46:16 (UTC)

Uncharted Territory

I feel like I've been ripped from everything I know and set in a new position as mom to this child that I don't even know that well.

I'm not saying that it's a bad thing though. I love this little girl. However I can't be sure if she feels the same. We haven't had a lot of time together.

Before CPS took her six weeks ago there were some things said that played a part in her being taken. None of it was true, but the hurt is still there.

Maybe she just isn't sure that everything is forgiven?

Or maybe she just has to get use to having a second mom? She's only 7, so it's hard to say what goes through her mind.

We got her back from CPS yesterday. Things have been a little awkward. She doesn't really talk to me..or acknowledge that I'm even in the room.

She will ask her mom a question about me, when I'm sitting right there.. but she's been through a lot..so I know it will take some time for all of us to get use to everything.

But I was a little upset this morning when we took her to school. Her mom was talking to the principal, and didn't think to introduce me. When I tried to introduce myself.. I was cut off. 🤷‍♀️

I didn't say anything about it because I figure her mom knows more about what needs to be said and done as far as her daughter's education. But it would have been nice to at least be introduced... just saying.

I also have been sick for the past 5 days.. So that has me in my feels more than usual. Ugh... I hate being sick.

It's not covid but I feel like I am dying. My stomach is upset, head hurts, fever, got diarrhea, body aches and pains... in general I just feel like shit.

Maybe it's just stress..but
I miss my home, and my son. (18)

It wasn't a great situation living with my ex in all the filth and roaches. And I want and know I deserve so much better. But over the years I got comfortable being uncomfortable..

This isn't bad.. but it's definitely uncharted territory.


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