Day In the Life of an American Teen
This going back and forth over Leo is truly pathetic. I know. I really know.
He doesn't love me. He just knows I'm special and pretty and doesn't want anyone else to have me. He doesn't love me the way I loved him. He never thought about any future. He didn't think about just relaxing in the same room and waking up next to each other like I did.
I blocked him. I told him to leave and or hurt me enough that I want to leave. He said, "I haven't loved you for a long time."
I think he's telling the truth. So I blocked him.
It's kind of different that I have a 'support system' this time. Gage, Garrett, Ryan, Malachi, Justin, and Fisher. It's nice to have them tell me I'm being a dumbass when I start talking about Leo. Garrett also just left his girlfriend who basically acted the same way Leo does.
It feels nice to not be left alone.
I don't love him. It doesn't feel like I love him. I really want to love him, really bad, but I don't feel anything. I kept waiting for him to do something good enough to make me love him like I used.
It's like a timer. It used to not be so bad. There was maybe a 3-day timer, and if, within 3 days, you didn't tell me you loved me or make me feel loved, I would either have an attitude or make you mad on purpose. Lately the timer has just gotten so short. If you haven't told me you loved me within a couple hours, I'm going to lose my shit.
I was just one girl. I wasn't special to him. I wasn't the one he changed for.
It gets worse. He has two dogs. He has a black husky and a red husky. Red huskies aren't very common, I rarely ever see them. I leave my house to go to school today, and there's a black husky and a red husky sitting on my porch. Literally. I shit you not. I can't make this up. If that's not some type of sign then what is? Do I go back? It makes sense. There's no way, how could it be that specific.
Right now, I feel fine having him blocked. I dont want to text him, but I feel like I should. What kind of fucking sign is that? That's insane. My house? Out of all the houses? The specific color of dogs BOTH at the same time.
Anyways, as soon as I blocked Leo, I just run into some other guy's arms anyways because I can't stand being alone. At least he's nice to me.
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