If I die today
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2021-09-12 08:35:11 (UTC)


yesterday was a rather quite day a great visit with yLindse and yBailey. She is growing fast. I'm worried about yLindse and nJayso nJayso is still having side effects that are worse with returning to work full time due to the conconsion and also they have both choosen to get relgious excemptions so as of right now they're jobs are ok but who knows what the future holds . God is faithful thou He provides perfectly. We went fishing I brought 2 spritsers before cracking them open I was having some techinal probalmes. nDea set me up on a new pole. Anyhow I kept getting tangled and I just wanted to quit and I did for a bit but anyhow then got back on it. Lotsa small fish I did get 1 bass . nDea got a bit more. It was nice and anyhow then we came home and after dinner cheesebruger mac and 7 nDea suggested wine and he said it wasnt a trick so anyhow we were up till a little after midnight. 7something the dog wnted out nDea got him out before I got up but otherwise sleeping on and off till about 925. Today I would like to excersise outside maybe. it looks okayish but I havnt been out there yet. dishes dishes.OMg I dont know why I cant get dishes right I'm always screwing up . it is a small space but still. I feel thou literaly I get physcially exhausted if I sit there and wipe and dry every dam dish putit all away right then and there but I think the olny solution is small loads so I have to keep trying and who knows maybe I'll make progress. Something has to change. I should walk the dog today not that i HAVE too its the weekend but football is on also so soon I think once my love wakes up he will be occupied a bit. I can also check my budget and repurpose some money and Id like to have up to 200 available for spending max. so somewhere betwenn 105 and 200 for this week I did have some left from last week so probaly a small transfter if anything. Also I need to read and focus on the LORD. Thinking of GOd providing perfectly actually makes me a a little selfish bc well what if GOD can use me for something to provide in somewaysomehow maybe I can do something. So maybe keep an ear open to that and double check an awarness of what I have. I dont have much but ya never know. I'm drinking coffee now then conquering the day . Oh I guess its not needed to sayI need a shower lol. Anyhow I hope my friends stay strong in thier beliefs and continuee in what is right. I also want to see them ccontinuly provided for and I hope nJayso can be completely healed or relieved somehow and empowered and able to work and proivde for his family. I'm a little out there on my stance on alchol and dont know if this is the sobering point wines gone forget about it or if I just continue to calm and sooth myself a drink a day to keep my mind calm and what not. Theres not much new or anything I have special to offer today just hopes/desires/ intentions of small sorts

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