Somewhere I Belong
Currently listening to the song Another world by Gojira. of course.
As every other sunday i spent it away from social humans. at the dinner table my mom said so my neighbour has gone to her moms with her kids for the weekend. i replied, so? and she said its just news. I looked confused as fuck like do i look like someone who needs gossip..lol
my cousin asked me if i played a game title and i replied, do i look like someone who sits and plays games all day. to which he replied a normal person would say yes or no..to which in my head i said i ain't normal.
one thing is for sure is that some of us will be betrayed by our clan sooner or later. at one point of time me and the gang were as close as the cast of FRIENDS. meeting daily. hanging out. but now.....they got married, got jobs, moved away. now no more is the clan. one clan member lives literally on the floor above me. i rarely see him. hes got his family to look after so why bother about me. then on some weekends i get a call to hang out. like im the last choice you know. nothing else to do so lets hang out with the single dude who has nothing else to do. it has been this way with a lot of my human contacts. it hurts inside. but it's somthing i deal with. his kid is gonna grow up to be a wuss. i dont give them parenting advice. i just keep shut and see his offspring talk back and not listen to him.
into the storm, as the song goes. throw yourself into the storm. there is something primal in listening to metal at a loud volume. when gojira screams and the riffs and drums are there in the background your soul joins in and screams too.
i spent a good few hours on 9gag browsing memes. its a peaceful life.
On instagram i was browsing metal drumming videos. such talented artists and to watch them play your favorite songs is a real treat. in a way we all connect with each other. on an uncharted level which can't be quantified and tagged. it just feels less alone. it takes years of practice to home in the skill of a guitar and a drum. let alone to play the riffs and the beats to point. i am attracted more to artists than normal people. those who play instruments i have more respect. it takes patience and focus and dedication to play metal music. to have such qualities are fitting for respect and admiration. then i spend ten minutes blocking and reporting reels of girls and their tiktok bullshit lipsync wearing stripper clothes. its not easy to find wuality content there amongst all the humans and their trash.
now i shall play some crysis and gta4. yes old games. and i have a good gaming laptop. so why not.
i don't like the new games much. in the race for making it look good and losing what makes them fun.
if only i had someone here to share my interests with. not to hear metal is just noise. for once. what i would give. sell my soul?? yes i would and satan will be like dammmnn you in already hell man and your soul is so depressed...take it back. i will say sorry no refunds. hahhaha.