Justwhatever

Sadnant
2021-09-12 02:26:56 (UTC)

I'm probably giving weird ..

I'm probably giving weird vibes but w e.
I guess I know more about James.

IDK what to do with this info. There is nothing to do. Maybe we can be friends again like before. But until then, I need to wrap my head around something.

My eyes still seek out his face.

I'm anaesthetised now though so. Whatever.

**

Her foot on his lap. Should be mine.
Without any kind of... Officiality, it's over.
Over.
And if I'm waiting for something, it's not so much an apology, but an acknowledgment of how he had a crush on someone toxic. That he never told me about. So I was just having to peice things together. Which is almost... Almost like gas lighting.

And acknowledge how that affected our relationship. Like, with my sadist, we are open about seeing other people and our feelings for those people. We know exactly where we stand.

You don't have the communication skills to be poly, but I guess you're not really actually poly if it's conditional based on whoever's your favourite at the time.

So yeah basically IDK whether to put it down to a lack of self-awarness/emotional intelligence/communication skills, but w/e it is he needs to fucking work on it.

**

You never told me how you felt about Georgina, you never gave me that context and I had to figure it out. Like, is this all in my head? And turns out it's not.

You need to look at things for what they are, and communicate that. I've tried so hard to communicate how I feel, and got silence and contradictions in return. That's not fair on me. And I honestly feel bad for your current partner; if you still see yourself as polyam and you get feelings for someone, how're you gonna handle that? Just convince her that it's not a big deal? And then she's going to go through the whole ordeal of wondering if it's all in her head when you act different around someone?


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