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2021-09-11 04:28:10 (UTC)

I took the choice that had the ..

I took the choice that had the most opportunity for emotional self-torment.

I suppose that must be one of my kinks. That kind of pain is so sexually charged. The way that something can feel just so extremely bad and good at the same time. A total self a betrayal.

My eyes look so beautiful when I'm feeling that painful, stomach-fucking anger.

Why am I here?
I fucking blocked him so I wouldn't be reminder of him. And now I'm at his house and I feel angry and sick and stupid.

Not just his fault tho, everyone is in one room and everyone else is fucking w/e.


I never even saw him. He might not even be here and I just let my own stupid neurosis get in the way of fucking... It doesn't even... W/e