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2021-09-10 22:27:36 (UTC)

Treal.

So I've recorded myself to see what I look like and how I act when I'm alone. Some things I've observed is that:
-I don't look good singing or dancing. -My smiles are ruined by wrinkles.
-I blink with too much attitude, whether intentional or unintentional.
-My clothes don't look good on me. -I look young, in that immature ugly baby kind of way.
-I only look worse being expressive. -I am slow at working.
With all these things taken into consideration, I've decided to be less expressive because I simply cannot handle the fact that I am perceived at all. There's a certain disconnection from me, who is thoughts, and the *thing* in that video. Putting it together will only remind me of this promise to simply stop. So I'm going to sit back and let aging do it's job at either fixing me or simply growing me up. I think this is a lost cause.


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