Experienced Life
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2021-09-07 07:24:57 (UTC)

Feeling mellow 😌

It's nice to wake up and to be in peace. Yeah... and this is even before my coffee in hand. Woke up to do my normal body check. Knuckles still hurt a little, core hurts, left arch on foot hurts (too many high knees) and my butt hurts. haha. Not mentally but physically. Even though I've been doing this crossfit thing for awhile now it still seems impossible for your butt to hurt (and I don't mean the pervy way too). Not exactly the butt muscles but where the butt meets the hamstring. So I tried stretching in bed this morning and it helped a lot. Probably was just a kink in my body somewhere. Dunno.

I just had a reflection on a chat I had yesterday when I met my meetup peeps at the park. Dina sat next to me and we haven't seen each other in about 4 yrs since the last camping event a camp Olima. Hmmmm. She was going with a member of our group at that point but since then broke up and is seeing someone for a few years now. Good for her. I never really liked talking to her too much because she starts with the serious questions right away and we aren't even that close. She always talks about my kiddos. She's a psychiatrist or psychologist. Same old same old to me and it's not a ice breaking discussion to start with. I just cut her off and instead smile because of something else. At one point, she was still wearing braces even though she's well into her adult years. Well, Jenny one told me that Dina and she was talking about men. Dina was complaining that she is having a hard time finding men because she still has braces and how she isn't capable of giving blow jobs. Haha. Now I'm supposed to keep that to myself and I have...except for this confession on this diary. So imagine this. I'm listening her trying to discuss deep depressing stuff to me while I'm there looking at Dina thinking she can now give blow jobs and life is good for her now? haha. I didn't of course but I thought it. Little did she know. hehehe.

I don't know why but I seem to be in a good spot right now. Not sure why. No drama helps but nothing as far as the wow factor is going on. Just thinking that maybe I'd be a pretty decent boyfriend for someone. Even thought the house isn't in tip top shape, my bedroom is always clean and I fix my bed everyday. Make my zen moments easier to reach I think. If someone would be next to me one day, I hope they like the left side of the bed. I'm always on the right side. All my exes used to like the right side of the bed. Well, not sure if you count Blue Faye but she was the left side of the bed woman. Anyway, my coffee press would have enough coffee for two and we could take turns bringing coffee to each other in bed. If I have to get it, I'd give you a quick morning kiss (on the cheek if I have cha-cha breath that morning) and I'd have to give you a few pats on the butt because because I like to pat my woman's butt. Hope future girlfriend don't mind that. I'd be there for her when she's struggling. I'd be there when she's at her best and would help her celebrate her accomplishments. I'd make her laugh with all my silly antics. That's always a thing my exes would tell me. They'd miss my funny streak I had in me. I'd make them laugh. I'd be that guy that would be there for you but also that guy that is just a little mysterious enough to not know me enough to guess my next move. I'm financially set so there wouldn't be any arguments about finances. We'd travel a couple of times a year. We'd be doing min vacations into nature like camping, hiking, kayaking, etc, etc. We can go dressed in ghetto outfits and we'd be able to fit in to those fancy-smancy events when needed and be complimented for dressing up. One problem would probably be my sexual appetite. It's just a tad bit too much and I can last a long time so hopefully my next romantic partner won't mind a few hrs of....romantic time. hehe. I still remember Blue Faye told me she couldn't walk the next day. I thought it was just an ego boosting comment she made but she corrected me and said she was serious. She couldn't walk the next day. Hehe. Funny not funny but then funny again.

Traveling would be a lot easier too. Traveling solo or with my Sis isn't the same. If I had a partner, I'd be able to leave my bags with her and I'd go check us in or whatever. Bathroom breaks at the airport? I could leave that with her too. Need some snacks while waiting? I'd go or she'd go and get it while we leave the luggage with me or her. Camping trips would be much easier too. Packing and unpacking decreases the time to make it more palatable. I've camped with my past gfs and we were able to load up or set up camp much quicker. Once at one camp, we were in a tight turnaround spot and I had my kayak trailer so it made it hard to turn around. Well, she and I just unhitched the trailer and turned it around by hand and we carried. Even cooking dinner together was much easier and more fun. Dinner out also made it less awkward because society may or may not think dinner for one at a table looks weird but it also makes it weird for some people in their head so dinner may not be as enjoyable when by yourself. For me, I got used to it. It's cheaper and I get the entire bottle of wine for me. hehe. Going to the movies is also weird going on your own. So there is that too.

TBH, I'm not sure why I'm still single. Sort of by choice, sort of due to Covid, sort of my own little rule of not dating at the gym. Now that I think about it, there was one person yesterday at our meetup that was sitting not far away from me and started a convo. Jenny introduced us and we started chatting. Now that I think about it, she was kinda cute. But damn it!! I was pre-occupied with Dina talking crap about my past and I was into wanting to laugh because of her braces and blowjob thing. Darn it!!!! My game is off for sure. Sigh....

Can't find anyone at work. We telework now and for some reason, IT stuff work dominated by men. Maybe I picked the wrong career. Maybe I should've been a nurse? pfft!! Nah... not my thing. If someone was in pain, I'd probably tell them to "shake it off and man up". I'd get canned so fast.

Maybe I'll ask Sadia out. Maybe. BTW, I'm her fb friend and that's not how her name is spelled. There's an h in there and an extra a but meh, leaving it like that since the spelling nazi doesn't work here on this site.

Today is Tabats Tuesday which means a whole lotta cardio. Many gym peeps hate it but it's my favorite gym day for some reason. I think it's a blast to go full on till you're exhausted and put to your limit and when you're put to that limit, you find you can push yourself a little bit more. Love it. Well, it's time to get ready for gym. My body feels like it's at 80% but that's good enough. Later diary.

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