My Boring Life
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2021-09-06 20:23:48 (UTC)

I Look Inside Myself And See My Heart Is Black

I see a sleepless night ahead of me. I guess I've been taking so much Zzzquil lately that it's stopped working. I took it about 45 minutes ago and I feel wide awake. I've had a headache all day.
I was working on sandblasting a headstone this morning when I tripped. I hit my head on the corner of it. I've got a pretty nasty cut and my forehead is bruised. I should probably go to the doctor but I'm kinda nervous about going to any doctors offices or hospitals because of covid even though I'm fully vaccinated. So many vaccinated people are getting sick and even though it's not as bad with the shot some people are still getting pretty sick. Oh well, ice, advill and bandages will have to do.
I can see Pinky in her house. She's wrapped up in a blanket on her couch, sleeping with the tv on. I guess she's given up on curtains. I can't not look. Her house is so close it's impossible not to see in. So I'll just be that creep that watches a pretty woman sleeping. Cheers, I'm taking a shot. Ugh, I hate vodka. It's the only thing I have left until tomorrow when I can go to the store. My head hurt to much earlier to go anywhere and now I'm almost out of alcohol.
I wonder what makes a woman really want you. Some guys can just reel in the chicks and some are no lie, ugly as fuck. Like how do they get females? They must be fuckinh interesting as hell. I don't get women. I don't get people. It's funny usually thinking about being alone makes me feel sad but tonight I just feel kinda disgusted. I do everything right but no one wants to be around me or talk to me. Fuck them. I used to have so much anxiety because I cared a lot about what other people thought about me and I constantly felt nervous. Now don't feel like I give a damn bc I don't like them anymore. No reason to care about what people think about me if I don't like them in the first place.
You don't even really need relationships anyway these days because of internet. There is all the porn and desperate chicks online that will show anything to anyone for attention. Unfortunately none of the ones I've talked to are worth dating but if I can bust a nut regularly, do I really need someone? I don't really like people, my marriage ended I guess bc I suck, idk. Maybe being alonone is the best thing for me.
It would be nice to have her lips wrapped around my dick though.

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