If I die today
2021-09-01 15:42:43 (UTC)


Dearest love my Dean,
Here we are again this is the second mention to you but your name starts with D and theres new thoughts to share for sure probally likely unspoken. Its appernet that your hurting and not feeling your best. You have great endurence very admiral persistance. I'm proud of your hard work and your commitment to fufill your obligations. You are a gem. A rare man. I appreciate you so much its overwhelming. Anyhow your efforts are great and I know you need/want something more suitable for your health and weel beeing that is a great idea. Continue to pursue things you can do and sustain your self and contribute to sociecty for good. Be wise in your choices and priorites. I hope you get whatever you nned to have a long life in this body. I hope your soul propers in truth and that you meet the LORD once this earth is over. Whenever possible please choose things that you do know are good for you. Use every ounce of knowledge you have for good and try to make those choices and changes and in the unknown relax and learn what you want to know. Im sorry that your hurting so much. Invest in yourself. Im sorry that I had probally spoken too much or wrongly with your sister. The information I have and that talk confirms with me your being taken adagante of by this monserous woman. You deserve to be respectd as a man as a human being. YOu went above and beyond your comminemtn to this ungreatful person who robbed you of your life. It sounds like the whole connection was based on a fraud when someone tells you they cant get pregant and then shows up preggers. YOu've endured a lot. People make mistakes and thank God for your daughter and he family they are here on purpose for a purpose and really they are good people. Please be free from the guilt and/or shame this woman has put on you. Please become aware that thisis NOT your friend. The things she says/does? are not friendlyor respectful and are not looking out for your best interst. I'm saddened and heartbroken by your connection to her. It burns me up to see you treated like a vending machine insert a token or small gesture and bring on the flow of candy. Its very hard for me to hear or understand you when we speak of your ex I still believe you are brainwashed and maybe you have something your hung up on and your not okay I dont know but I feel like your perception is skewed. Maybe I have no right to a perception but I have one too and I think its preddatory and sick and I consider her mal intended until I know or see differnt. It would tear me up to loose you but it will tear me up to get too involved and loose myself too I hope that in our lifetime we come to peace with things and have an agreement that makes us both at peace. Anyhow if I'm gone before you please know tht your worth soo much. Be aware of who you are and that you have so much potential and goodness and dont let regeection stop you and purse things that you can do to make a diffrence in this sick world. Stick to what you know is right. I have loved that you appreciate simplicty and can be contnet dont loose yourself in this world. I love you stay out of harms way

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