My Boring Life
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2021-09-01 13:05:19 (UTC)

Anger Management

I think I need anger management classes or something. I'm having trouble dealing with hate and rage. Last night, I ordered food with Door Dash. The driver pulled into my driveway, waited a few minutes, backed out of the driveway and started driving back down the road. They have delivered food here so many times, I've seen this same Door Dasher like 10 times or more so I feel like she should know where the fuck I live by now since I'm the only person in the neighborhood that gets food delivered this way but she always seems like she's lost. Anyway, when I saw her leaving I took off running after her, waving my arms and yelled out " Hey!" to catch her attention.
She didn't see me. She proceeded to drive slowly down the road but just fast enough that I couldn't catch up with her and I started getting aggravated. All of my neighbors are super nosy and Im sure several sets of eyes watched me trying to catch up to this chick and I started feeling stupid bc of how I must look so that made me even more aggravated and now angry. She finally stopped the car. When I ran up to her window, she still didn't see me and had a very confused look on her face. I shouted " Hey" at her window again and I could tell I startled her. In that moment I realized how angry I was. I felt so pissed off that I had to run after her and look silly in front of the neighborhood. I was so angry and I actually felt like I hated her. She apologized like she always does and handed me the food but I felt like I hated her. I wasn't angry enough to get violent or anything, I'd never hurt another person because I'm not that bad but I just looked at her like she was dog shit smushed into the crevices of my shoe and I felt like I was about to boil. I snatched the bag, pointed at my house and said " My house is right there". She apologized again but by then I was already storming back home. I think I overreacted a little bit. I just hate people so much and I've been feeling a lot of anger recently anyway so I guess that was the straw that broke that camel's back. Im going to look into anger management classes in the area. I just don't want to start taking prescriptions so I hope they don't ask me to just pop pills.