If I die today
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The bug man came today. Last night was exhausting I got tired and maybe frustrated after grocery shopping and nDea thought hamburger gravy would be a quick dinner he could make which was sweet but dam the dishes and the dishes were falling at like 8ish when i decided to try to wash them in worry about today and i panice choked and got mad and so I gave up. Anyhow if made me cry. This morning I decided whatver they can spray around the dishes theres no way I'm going have dishes clean and out away by 8 am so you have it I didnt try. nDea's sister showed up right on time by 8 and tht was perfect we wiated here and visted about a half hour before they showed up and sprayed then we visited till lunch at her palce. It was nice to talk and she agress with me that the C monster does not have to be welcome in MY home. So if push comes to shove and we move she said put my foot down she says nDea wont leave me or loose me over it. I just cant see myself living with him and having his ex come over for various reasons. Also I think she's upset bc I clued her in that Cmonter wants $$ for whater vaction thing and that shes been buggin him every day and also that he's been working overtime and so on and we talked it was therputic Also we talked about cooking stuff nDea has said befoere yChriss is a good cook so she gave me some clues and ideas. but shes quite upset about the maniplation from c-monster who called her alos while I was there which is funny so likely she knew I was there or something IDK. Anyhow I feel very selfish in someways and selfish for not having the endurance or willingness or ability to fufill better chores. as for today i'm thankful for a good visit. nDea just got in a few min ago so another looong day for him. Its hard he works hard but its rough on him. IDk what he needs but hope heis able to find some relief. been ups and downs. oh I had one buzzball last night too from the grocery so maybe it made me meltdownidk. I feel less than aduquate as an adult. Also I would like to have some thing kind to give his sister for her help and time today.