If I die today
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I dont think I can handle being too overwhelmed anymore as far as trying to impress the bug-people excepsted tommorw so I did change chores today a little bit did some extra things and a few more focused things and a few less but it blanced out time/energy wise. Frustration wise Idk I'm still not so postive that its not gonna bit me in the butt later suppose we have to do something that I believe I already did olny to find out my work was useless or in vain unacceptable regected. That it basicaly how I feel about life and everthing I do falls into the rejected catorgy like I"ve never been up to standard like IDK some sorta deep rooted thing maybe a curse like think is how I feel not ready to suggest I have some sorta regect curse on me but I always feel like a failure everything I do is a waste and in vain and not to standard. Anyhow ok so on the 1st Ill start up the vitmains routine agian been taking the 1slowrealse melation on occasions lately. I have a date with yLindse saturday morning to catch up wiht her :) which will be sweet. physcially we did run today and I did 2 videos one was shorter and I did kinda not focus. I have this annoying neck/shoulder/bicep area pain in the left side since wakin up so likely a sleeping postion problme. Slept from close to 10till about 5. Otherwise I'm normal weight wise I think I'm at square A again but the diet had strayed this weekend a bit and loosend up. I have no intention of any routine tommorow as we are exspecting the bug man but I do want to make sure to walk the dog he needs that. Dietwise itll bein the air. who knows right now I seem to be suffient on funds if it turned into a sitation of purchasing food or drink I mean it would close to near dry but well I kmow myself so easily swayed. Anyhow so on the way out today a protester of planned parenthood stopped me I think its literally the same man I was noticeing a while back who seemed like he was truly wanting to help but anyhow he asked to talk so turns out the things I believe and his beliefs and the work he is doing or I mean what he is stadning for seems to be right but then he gave me 2 paphlets to read and mentioned to me they always need volunteers. anyhow so I aksed my friends and somehow eMichelle seems to think Im telling her I want to vol, for pp . I mean things get lost in text and stuff but IDK its weird. I cant seem to commicate. On that note anyhow I need to find out what God has as far as this eencounter but I need to reply to her text from eMichell right now so I can fill in the blanks more anothter time but as for right now in life I am wondering the purpose of what I am inding out.
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