Gentleman ♀

I Hate High School
2021-08-30 03:55:55 (UTC)

Just Sad... For No Reason


So this is probably going to be a really short entry but I just need no get this off my chest. I don't even know what I'm getting off my chest, I just am. I feel so stupid and useless and ugly and sad for no reason. It feels stupid and I hate myself for it but I can't really stop it. Even just writing about it makes me feel stupid for you even having to read this. I feel like an attention seeker and I just wanna curl up with my stuffed animal and cry. But I can't even do that! Like I physically can't force myself to cry, no matter how useless and stupid I feel or how upset and unloved I feel I can't cry so I'm just stuck here feeling like an idiot. And when I do cry it's always for the stupidest reasons (mostly arguments with my mom). I can't cry when I feel ugly, stupid, and like no one likes me but when my mom wants to look at my essay I wrote I have a borderline mental breakdown- Like seriously what's wrong with me? Why can't I be a normal person?

Even now I feel stupid that I even feel like this. I'm completely aware that I'm just being an overdramatic cringe kid and it's like mentally being tied down and slowly cut open with a fucking eyebrow razor. Slowly being torn apart, fully aware of what's happening but unable to do anything to make it stop. Once again, what an overdramatic comparison. There's probably some kid getting physically abused by their parents right now and I'm here complaining about how I have self-esteem issues and listening to some edgy playlist. IIIIIIIIIIII FFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL PPPPPPAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whelp- its 12:30 AM and I am incapable of sleep so Imma go stare at the cealing till school time!... Yay... buh bye I guess.