Ruby’s healing journey
Ad 2:
2021-08-24 21:06:10 (UTC)

Frustrated wishing to bloom

Today I woke up. Talked to my therapist bout the info with my parents she said to have the conversation with my dad about how I don’t like mom being in my life.She told me to stop being frustrated with her emotions though because she has a right to them. She told me to buy a lunch box for work which I did. And to stop sleeping so late. I know this probably works but I just feel so frustrated lately

Idk I’m kinda wondering if I actually like the stuff I like or am I unable to identify what I’m supposed to feel when I like something

I’m frustrated because I can’t do anything I try I try and try and it’s like doing the same thing over and over
Everyhing is complicated and I’m just here for the ride I can read write but I make grammer mistakes and have no time to correct them it feels like and idk how to correct them everytime I find a solution there’s more to a problem if it helps to explain my functionality I can read anything though I perfer ya and I often have to look words up in the dictionary when I’m reading
I can fix a groccery cart easily I can tape vines up on my wall though they fall down a bit
I have baked a vegan cake that didn’t look good but tastes great
But then I failed a lavender cookie
And I’m scared of trying again though I might do it
I can cook a little basic meals
I can use the computer and don’t need help
Some plants I can keep grown
usually that’s it I’m talentless I passed one class in college but it was just how to do well in college class idk if I’m going to pass anymore I need help doing else someone to ask questions that will be there but no one wants to do that and I try online but I need someone right there I can do the bus if someone helps me

They said I could still learn things it would just take time on my disability sheet but I think I need a lot of help to learn stuff I’m trying and I make so many mistakes
I don’t know what I’m living for half of the time I guess tv shows and books
I don’t want this life where I’m just working as a retail associate forever I just want to bloom