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This bloody demonic cat of mine has got a serious death wish, she drives me up the bloody wall! When my previous cat died, she stayed with us in spirit for a few days, she told me there will be two more cats she already arranged for us. One would be gentle and calm and the other would drive me crazy so much that she will find it entertaining.
Well, she wasn't wrong! About either cat, the first was Bonnie, who we rescued during our time exploring different holiday homes waiting for my house purchase to complete. Bonnie was beautiful, piercing big blue eyes, a white and cream ragdoll. But Bonnie's owners came forward after six weeks. We were sad, but then came along Dinky-Binky, 11 weeks old and not a day has passed (now one year old) has she not been HARD work!
My new furniture said goodbye to me and has suffered many deaths. My patience has been tested beyond belief and let's not talk about the near-death heart attacks she gave me where my heart literally felt like it stopped before beating again.
This sounds crazy, what I am about to say, but you must understand in my world, spirit, and lights pinging on for me when I walk into a room or off (lol), things moving to play with my patience (mischievous spirit) and the attachment to my cat, is normal. I am still working on detaching IT from her and it is proving more tricky than first anticipated. It's been going on for some time now, and it's a far difference from usual cat play and testing hierarchy in our 'pack', me being the focus of overthrowing power, lol. She isn't harmed in any way, it is all spiritual removal.
You cannot directly speak to the spirit attached to her for it turns her fucking mental and she turns quite aggressive. Throwing herself at, pouncing and proper fronting me out, with her chest puffed and tall front legs, making herself seem bigger than she is. You can call her anything, except "Demon". The moment I address it directly, all hell breaks loose and I need to adjust our cat, distract the focus. It's not a dangerous spirit, well not in my cat, in a tiger or a lion...fucking runnnn! But both myself and my daughter know when it shows itself, our cat has a distinct change in personality, her eyes and I can feel her energy change completely.
She has just had the usual psyche out, it begins with the energy too much to bear where she needs to release, it's like a build up of its appearance then she turns aggressive. Now she doesn't scratch, bite or hiss, but she hunts, charges pounces and generally scares the fucking shit out of you, as she catches you off-guard. Yes, yes, I know, people will say it's just a young cat letting off steam but 1) They don't know her normal self 2) They don't live with us and understand what goes on around us with spirit. 3) People are too close-minded to contemplate any of what I, we, experience. For me, it's business as usual.
However, in the last week and a half, I have had bouts of illness, nothing drastic but exhaustingly draining and excruciating pain to the point I have been incapacitated barely able to walk and move. I am not seeking doctors out, I do know it's not serious, it is to do with my menstrual womanly things merged in with spiritual attacks. (I won't go into that as people might think I should be in an asylum, LOL - I've told people it's just menstrual things, partly it is and they can accept and understand that but not the other stuff, so I don't bother explaining) Sunday was another difficult day, I was hit with incredible cramps and separately my arms, legs and back muscles were so torn I was in agony. I am still sore in my muscles, but I am far better than Sunday. I did some hefty healing techniques yesterday, both herbal, standard usual tricks and spiritual. I was pleased to wake this morning with only half the pain remaining.
Due to this other work going on (spiritually) right now, it is taking my energy and time, this is why I prefer to have a very quiet solitary life most of the time unless I need release but then that turns into sexual ventures, as that is my next best passion, lol, for now I am simmering, focused on more important selfless matters. From the outside, in societies eyes, I've been judged for being a loner, someone who doesn't do dinners out, regular pub outings and usual things people do. But I have done those things in the past, I am a mature woman now and my spirituality has developed to new levels. I am discovering new abilities. And there have been periods throughout my life that I have reverted into a hermit as I know when the next development needs my focus, and it takes a lot of my energy until I learn it/to manipulate it to find equilibriums of what I can live with/cope with.
An example of the newest spiritual developments is for the first time ever. I saw an aura, yesterday. Real-time! Not in the mind's eye, which I can see people's aura quite clearly, but not in real-time with the naked eye, not ever before. It stunned me and excited me and wow, the colour orange was so intensely beautiful, it was hard to describe that it was orange but far more beautiful than the orange we know. It was living, alive. My cat was having her burnout moment before the psyche started, as she moved past me, I caught a glimpse of her and her body energy surrounded itself in the most vibrant orange, I clamped my eyes on her just to take in its beauty. I immediately told my daughter, she googled the colour meaning and I told her, we don't need to know what google says, its obvious isn't it, Binks is emitting childlike excitement, zest of life (during her mad half hour running around) she still looked it up and found it said much the same.
I hope I can learn how to focus and see auras more, I'll find my way around it. It's all such a mystery in the beginning and it isn't a case of asking Spirit for guidance in learning it, I am to find it again, learn it. it took years and years learning to decipher the images, feelings, emotions, sensations and knowings spirit showed me in order to work with them with ease. It is about finding yourself, in your spiritually. I do not mean, in your ego, or personal feelings of who you are. But within your spirituality, totally different.
The other not so new thing, that had always been only tapped into when danger or incident could harm me, or someone I knew and cared for/loved. I was never sure why these premonitions of danger only filtered to people I cared for and loved and myself (that was a real big trigger and disaster for myself, so many times I ignored my intuition as a young girl/woman - I learned the hard way, every time my intuition was never wrong! And I ended up in bad situations!) but why I thought, can I not sense/see this for other people, as I can sense/see/know complete strangers information even if I never met them. It always baffled me but it was not something I pushed, never would. Never do I push any of my spiritual abilities, it is all a natural process, from the right eras, right places, right times in my life, to when they progress or diminish.
So my premonitions are coming in quite regularly now, they are merged with intuition too, so sometimes it is hard distinguishing between the two, but it's a case of noting it, listening, being aware and waiting to see if it does indeed happen - and it does. As it stands, mostly they are small non-threatening premonitions, almost like test pilots, haha. That's what it feels like. Although, I did see what happened in London before it happened. So the premonitions, are maturing now.
The other is my astral travels, I have to get these under control more and I am trying to figure the routes in which I can take control with going into astral travel. Sometimes, I have readied myself for it, other times though which are a little more disturbing, as are not controlled yet, are from only lingering thoughts before I sleep regarding other plains, and people living now. I am so used to living with spirit that I tend to travel a lot without fear, seeking out adventure and knowledge of what's beyond us. I only wish, everybody would harness this and see how tiny we really are in the scheme of everything!
This is why I cannot live a chaotic, busy, loud life. I need calm in my lifestyle, every day living and I cannot bear deceit, It is like poison to the essence of me, literally infiltrates my energy and makes me feel sick. If I had an allergy that would be it.
I'm buying some paint on Thursday, ordering my greenhouse, water butt, and getting plants and more blue slate for the other side of my front lawn. I've five days off work from Thursday, so I'll be finishing the front lawn area, and likely start decorating the hallway stairs before starting the landing area upstairs. Greenhouse I have plenty of time to build. Oh! my vegetable planters are being delivered Thursday too :)) This time next year I'll reap and harvest veggies and herbs and be in full growing my own throw of things :)) And I shall enjoy my homemade cooking even more with my grown ingredients! :D
My brother invited me and my daughter and her boyfriend to a party on the 28th, he said bring your own picnic, there are zip lines, trampolines, quads and buggy bikes and a live band for everyone at Tom's farm! Come and celebrate our birthday's together, sis! My birthday and my brothers are two days apart. Bless him xxx