Third 👁️ Eye Spy
ITV Girl :)
What is the point in living if we didn't let life change us? This reason is why I never raised the white flag. Oh, I've been near, ever so close but then I am reminded in the smallest of ways that this is part of me, my life and my journey because you play the game, as best you can. When the arrows aim you must learn to dodge or take the hits, heal the wounds and march on. I'm a good sailor.
I had dug out a deeper trench area around the front garden this morning, laid the blue slate and set about de-weeding, mowing both front and the back garden, all by 10 am. I have two small garden areas at the front of my house, I came up with an idea of a small picket fence on the other side and lay blue slate there, and go to the garden centre and buy some lavender and other flowering plants for out the front. Lavender has a very beautiful scent and colour through autumn looks lovely too.
I dropped my daughter off at the festival and when she was back home she came running into me, all excited and showed me her and one of her friends on the front page of a newspaper and the ITV news in a video from the festival. Haha! She was so chuffed! Needless to say, she has sent it to her other friends, her boyfriend, our family WhatsApp group and more, lol. I'm glad she had a good day, her boyfriend is right miserable sod lately, takes her for granted. I encourage her to go out with her girlfriends, the fact she ended up on the news and in a newspaper made her day. :))
Ive still not been on any dating sites, neither do I have an account with any. I am glad I tried it out though, I had a few good experiences but unfortunately never met my bow. I guess no-one hits the bullseye with the first arrow. I'm not sure what I will do, if anything at all to find him. For now, I am quite content staying away from trying my hand at love with a man. I truly feel, its not meant for me in this lifetime, just as it wasn't in the last. It's all been about forgiveness in both, in different scenerios. I have only regressed into two lifetimes before the current, if there were any before that, I am yet to discover.
Johnny had returned two days ago, after four days of silence without word or explanation. And as he returned, he then disappeared once again for another day. I think he had plenty of patience and understanding from me previously, and anymore would have put my own sense of value at jeopardy. That is something I am not willing to do, nor is it something someone would do if they had any respect or valued me. So, either way, that isn't treating me right or fairly. When I received only on a "X" after another disappearing act, twenty odd minutes later he sent anther message telling me to delete his number. He felt rejected because I didn't respond right away to his "X" text. Then he sent another saying I am not bothered. I responded, telling him I am bothered but I will not fight for someone's affection or time.
Those things should be given freely.