My Boring Ass Life
2021-08-19 01:27:33 (UTC)

More Complaining

Tomorrow I have to go to a birthday party that I really really don't want to go to. The person who invited me asked me to go when we were on good terms, however we got into a fight recently and so its extremely awkward. I don't like them at all. I'm so scared. I'm scared that they will humiliate me, and I'll lose all my friends. I tried so hard to have and keep friends man. So hard. Everyone always leaves me, but its okay! My family, and friends are going to leave me regardless. So why try?

I asked for the time to their party since they didn't bother telling me, and its going to be in the morning tmrw. Shit man. I fucking hate my life. I'm just going to say I got diarrhea and leave early.

I don't necessary NEED friends, they're nice to have but eventually they have got to go. I'm so nervous.

But, I'll think about the good times first!! It was really nice to have someone to talk to and to explore new areas and what not. And I opened up for the first time to one of my friends, alot too! And opening up to them really made me stop self-harming for a couple days, and my scars started to heal a bit so that nice.

I mean like it was kinda pointless that I stopped self-harming for a couple of days because lately...I made my scars a lot worse! lol

But I hadn't been able to stop self-harming for a long time, so even if it was for short periods it was really nice. I felt so much more confident in myself.

Ya, I had some pretty nice times with them, and I'll always remember them. So whatever happens, I'll be okay. I am strong, and I've gotten to this point in my life all by myself, and I can do it again. I can always make more friends and I have myself, right? And I'm friends with myself, so that's already one friend! I have one solid friend that will never leave me alone. Myself! Haha!!!!!! I have outsmarted the system!

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