Ruby’s healing journey
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2021-08-14 20:55:16 (UTC)

Today the time is 455 I am ..

Today the time is 455 I am still on my time of the month I picked up a new book undercover princess ya by a YouTube I used to watch it’s so far not as good as the after ward to me but it might start changing I also picked up a box of chocolates and water bottles fun fact about me I have things I don’t do or rarely do I rarely drink soda or drink water bottles I just drink out of the sink
But it was hot I was thirsty and didn’t bring a water bottle it’s a frugality thing I try to do but also a environment thing of yeah so I really care about the environment I only do small things to help it though trying to be more “zero waste” though some thing I just wouldn’t do like keeping stuff I don’t want anymore I like to be substainble but also yolo(you only live once for someone who somehow doesn’t know what that means) I am vegan well trying found out the chocolate I bought today had milk fat in it I really hope in the next couple years there’s more vegan food in stores like vegan brownies at Safeway

Cooking takes so much energy

Anyway going to try chocolove chocolate instead next time because it has only traces of milk
Probably you wondering if your vegan /trying how do you go to Taco Bell I just ask to take out the meat and dairy products

Anyway I used to write poetry on here but now my creativity is gone when it comes to poetry (different account) don’t know how to get it back
I promised my friend who loves my poetry I would try this summer but I haven’t found anything to write about
Anyone who has a writing block that reads this can you give me you thoughts. I can only make sad poetry I try to make happier poetry and it just doesn’t come other then when i made a poem about my friends but it got deleted by mistake

I feel like something that made me is Completly lost I thought maybe reading poetry would help but to be honest I only like a few poems my work was unique to me I would write abstract poems with rhymes that squeme was random I really like rhymed poems because I like that something new can exist without restraint

Anyway trying to get into using a sewing machine too problems is I don’t have some of the parts so today I would just be cleaning it

Also have to again tape some vines and flowers back in my wall

I really like the fairycore asthethic but I feel werid that it’s not uniquely my style still working on finding my style /styles within that asthethic I think I want some more color but idk what I want with my room anyway that’s why I’m trying to learn to sew I like short sleeve “peasant” shirts I don’t see a lot of those in colorful colors I think unless it’s perfect I want it to be atleast two colors maybe 3

I’m trying to get over not being able to eat most sugary things anymore or spices too me it’s kinda depressing the only think helping me is maybe I will be healthier or have clear skin it makes me sick explaning why is kinda tmi I think my skin has already cleared up a little on camera because the camera blurry my skin is without acne and I’m on my time of the month think it might also be because of less stress lately with not seeing my parents

I just hope not every sweet thing is now out of bounds I really love icecream and desserts I thought that was okay but now I’m confused if that’s also a problem
I plan on drinking sugar beverages when I go to coffe shops with friends though also worried because once I gave up sugar I lost weight once maybe I can try to eat more fat next time I just worry as also vegan

Anyway going to straight some vines and clean the sewing machine

I wish I had a friend who would teach me things I feel like if my parents spent less time abusing me and more time teaching me stuff I would be the polymath I want to be I just need to ask so many questions and I’m slow with stuff I hope I can do the stuff I want I hope I like to a old age so I can accomplish all this stuff and I wish I had more energy

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