Third 👁️ Eye Spy

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2021-08-12 22:47:32 (UTC)

Masters of the Blues

Stevie Ray Vaughan - Voodoo Chile (love this)

I am a blues woman through and through - all soul. I like rock too, proper rock. Some people see the blues as depressing, but those who usually say that are mostly chaotic people. I am not chaotic, I have been in the past but I am not inherently hectic. Especially not since I reached my bliss, within myself, in my lifestyle. I like my company, I don't get bored, lots of things interest me. I like planning things to enhance my comfort zone more, just as I like to enhance and empower myself. I like learning and growing, but I must say I much prefer learning and growing now, rather than in the past. Woah! They were some harsh lessons! And rightly so, my part in all of those was my naivety of not knowing, like most, when we learn, we only learn it once we've experienced it.

I think I have walked into fire many times and it's a wonder sometimes how I am still here, but I am, and much wiser for it. Mr B taught me a lot, he helped me pull out of the repetition of my subconscious. Helped me raise boundaries, the value of myself and most importantly, he too is a seeker of truth, he showed me how to stop being so helpful to people who will never appreciate it. Something I used to do, not anymore. And moreover, to recognize those people. Those were teachings that helped me come out of that psychological ball I had been moulded into over the years, by my mother, traumas and wrong relationships.

But yes, it all began with my mother, my dad too actually. He is not innocent in it all, but I do love him dearly, thing is, he sees his wrongdoing. He knows he and my mother did wrong by the three of us, but he has made changes, big changes from when he hit his late 40's, and has been making up for it ever since. My mother though, nothing changed, same cunt she is always has been and for years I used to support her, taking on board her sad childhood, but then when she wouldn't accept any help, didnt want to change for her kids, that's when the sympathy train rolled out.

Anyway, the blues subject is just because I've been listening to the blues tonight, some awesome guitar rifts, omg, love it...while building a fortress around a cliff in my PS4 game lol. Johnny sent me some songs to listen to also, he is being tender with me lately. I like that. God knows, the last time I felt tenderness from a man, it's been so many years. I hope he doesn't go all shitty on me.

Work was alright today, I was a bit subdued to not getting much sleep because my daughter and her boyfriend ignored the rules of him not sleeping in her bedroom. They never had sex but cuddled but still, I wasn't best pleased, not only mine but his mother's wishes were taken advantage of. So I told them both, "So you can't respect our wishes, you asked us to trust you. It's simple going forward, no more sleepovers for you two."

I felt bad saying it but it had to be said, they need to understand respect. We (his mum and me) kept our side of the deal, they didnt, teenagers or not. They were very quiet for the rest of the morning, my daughter asked to explain to me. I told her, "Talk to me tomorrow, I am still annoyed with you two."

The carpenter G, called me today, surprise surprise, lol. I think he is excited to meet me Monday. It's business not personal! I'm going on-site to measure up the kitchen area, sign him up, and give them some free stuff (my bro is working there too) but G called to ask for another quote on more materials, lol...after I did that for him, we paused. Remember he was texting me last night, about his personal life. It wasn't a heafty amount of texting but enough to have shifted it over from a professional B2B standpoint. So after the pause, he says, "So how was your gaming last night? What game is it? What do you do in it?" So I told him, he said it sounds like a good game and said, "You should show me it one time." Then laughed.


Anyway’s I cut the conversation short, and he said, "See you on Monday then, "What time? So I can make sure I am there and not out getting materials." I said I'd see him at 10 am. He said, "Okay, perfect!"

Seeing my lashes lady for a new set on Saturday :))
And my fookin nipples are so tender right now….super sensitive and hurty gurty. All because I missed two days of my pill weekend before last, was meant to collect another batch on the Friday and forgot so went the weekend without them and now I’m paying for it with my demonic hormones :/ Turds