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2021-08-11 00:14:12 (UTC)


I got out of the hospital last 4 months from a drug overdose, using sleeping pills that I take only 1 day. Attempt to suicide because of people's opinions is dumb. I was brought to Emergency Room because the toxins are all over my mind. They inject the needle into my pulse to check my health condition. I don't understand why they take a lot of blood from me, maybe I was expecting them to give me a medicine to remove the toxic chemical inside my body system. Kinda hurt when they put the needle inside me to be honest, especially the big ones and those little needles to get my blood. It was horrifying because I am in a near-death experience. 3 days and I forced myself to discharge myself out of the hospital because of bills. So they take the needle from my hand. It hurts but at least I got the chance to eat food because I am hungry. I thought I will be well after I got discharged. But I still got palpitations from it. It is because I eat food after I got discharge? I can't sleep properly, and my heart hurts even think that I am dying. But the next day I am fine. I exercised a lot to stop this palpitation despite the risk. I eat vegetables and fruits. But went back after months, eat meat because I am tempted. And my condition got worse. The tendency is that I have nightmares like I have cardiac arrest every time I stress myself from the situation. I got lots of near-death experiences like 8 times and so. I fear that I have hyperthyroidism that might affect everything. I tend to have lots of headaches so I avoid over-the-counter medication that might worsen my situation. Not until I take Acetaminophen called Biogesic and Alaxan (Ibuprofen Paracetamol) because I have flu. I got well, but I have an irregular heartbeat from the process. I fight myself so I exercised again. I bought a supplement online which is natural turmeric but I think my condition got worse because I got nausea and diarrhea after taking 2. I fear that they put something on it that I have coronary heart disease or something. I don't know. I got trust issues due to my surroundings lately. I wonder if I have Arrhythmia or Coronary Heart Disease from having hyperthyroidism. Or Maybe I have diabetes or such which I hope not. I am terrified that I have a stroke because I have those pain like neck pain, shoulder or back pain. I am only 20 years old and hoping that my situation got better from worse.