Scream Above the Sounds
I've been looking at a lot of self help stuff. Just ways to better my moods and days, but nothing really seems to be helping. I think having so much time off during the holidays from university and feeling trapped due to covid has overwhelmed me a lot. I feel groggy and exhausted. Everything feels the same. I do the same things every day, I eat the same food, everything just feels incredibly repetitive and boring, and I am struggling. My life just doesn't feel like living at the minute, it's hard to describe. I don't mean that in a really negative or suicidal way either, it just genuinely doesn't feel like I have much of a life right now. I feel like I have regressed from where I was in college to where I sit today, certainly socially. I did feel like I was having a bit more of a life and things just seemed in control, whereas now everything is gated by covid and there is a lot of uncertainty in my life.
Right now it feels like I'm wasting my days, and I know you're supposed to enjoy your time off, whether it be work or studying or whatever, but I don't find myself enjoying anything right now. I can tell I'm on a downward spiral because there has a been a considerable amount of Death Cab for Cutie and Brand New playing on my spotify the last couple of days. I just feel so tired, from everything and nothing.